Monday, August 31, 2009

Back on Board

The last few weeks have been very tough emotionally but I'm back on board thank God. Things sucked so badly I felt physically ill but it's over and I'm glad.

My son is much much happier, he chats away and his mood seems much lighter overall. There are no more tears at bedtime and no tears upon wakening.

Home schooling is proving to be very interesting ;) and is certainly challenging but I feel like my brain is really waking up and I find myself constantly thinking about how I'm going to teach this and how I'm going to teach that. My son is a very hands on learner rather than staring at a blackboard (which turns into staring out the window) so we have been doing a lot of experiments, cooking, using learning based computer games, maths puzzles, building things etc. All very cool and interesting. I would have loved this as a kid.

The really great thing about it is that we are not confined to a room, we can get out and about a lot of the time and will certainly be doing more of that as the weather warms up.
We have a fantastic, huge, brand new (and very very funky looking) library, museum and cultural centre rolled into one opening up next week just 5 minutes from our place and I can't wait to get inside and have a look around. They are going to be seeing a lot of us me thinks!

On the healthy living side of things all of my exercise and eating commitments went right out the window. All the goings on of late would have been a perfect opportunity to observe my feelings and sort through them or simply just let them be but old habits obviously die hard with me because I was eating anything and everything that wasn't nailed down. Forget the exercise, it just didn't happen.

It's funny that when I need it the most, when I really really need tender loving care, I turn against myself. I do it all the time and I don't really know why.

I guess the instant comfort that food can bring outweighs the lasting comfort a strong, healthly, light body can bring. Instant being the key word. So then am I impatient? Is that what's going on? I want it now, is that it? Hmmmm, food for thought haha.

Anyway, I don't want to mope, I just want to get back on track and come up with a plan for those times when I'm feeling a bit low (and a lot low) and want to eat the leg off a chair.

Suggestions certainly very welcome :)



skinny latte said...

I found this and thought of you Claire:

Glad to hear that home schooling is going well so far.

Don't be too hard on yourself - you've had a tumultuous time of late, and often that is when the old habits come creeping back in because they are comfortable and familiar, and that's what we're after - comfort. Even if we know they aren't in our best interests! When we are faced with hard times it's an opportunity to put our new habits into practice - it's hard, but eventually the new healthier ways will become the automatic, comforting option. I would have died laughing if someone had told me that a 10k run would be something I did to comfort myself and feel good after a bad day...but there you go!

Be good to yourself, I know you'll get there.


Claire said...

Thanks for the link Phil. I've had a good look around and feel most inspired:)

Thank you also for your kind words. I'm back on track and feeling much better about everything and have set some new goals that have me feeling motivated again. All is well :)

green ink said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Chantel said...

Wow home schooling sounds pretty fun! I wish I could have had more time to do cool stuff like that with my mum when I was younger! What a wonderful bonding experience this is going to be for you and your son. Sounds as though he's much happier too which is really great.

It's hard to break the cycle of going back to not so great food choices. I know - I've been struggling lately too. Sometimes when I go to reach for the chocolate bar in the shops I tell myself no - you are better then this! You deserve more and you deserve better then what this chocolate can give you. All you're doing is punishing yourself and then you'll hate yourself afterwards for eating it.

Of course, sometimes I tell that person to just shut up because I want the chocolate and a treat! LOL

It's a learning process and I'm slowly learning to listen to that inner me that only wants the best for me.

You'll get there mate, just like Phil, we both will *hugs* x

Chantel said...

How are you Claire? Would love to know how everythings been going for you xoxo

laura said...

hey clare, thanks for visiting my blog...things are slowly looking up 4 me...dr's are involved (i'm a very complex person with a long journey ahead)