Monday, July 27, 2009

Choosing peace

I used to think that "peace" was something that you seek, it was something "out there" to be found, some people had it and some people didn't. That everything in your life had to be lined up just right to enable you to truly feel peaceful. I didn't realise that peace already exists within you, that it is simply a choice of how to just be regardless of what is going on around you.

I've changed and grown so much on the inside and outside ;) over the last few years and I have reached a stage where living a peaceful life has become really important to me.
I've lived through some pretty wild times and had many ups and downs in my life and now balance and peace is what floats my boat.

The funny thing is as soon as I declared that peace was what I wanted my whole week turned to shite. It was like a test from the universe to see if I was serious and it felt like I was being pounded emotionally from all directions. I don't think I faired too well, in fact peace went right out the window at one stage but I have learnt some lessons this week especially about how important it is to stay calm and to remove yourself from certain situations that are about to escalate into something totally negative. I also learnt how important forgiveness is, of myself and others, how powerfully healing it is and how unfortunately sometimes you just have to let things go because there is no chance of resolution.

So although not a fabulous week on the surface I guess it was a great one as far as life lessons and it's deeper meanings.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Peace in pieces

How do you stay peaceful when your child is being bullied?

Trying to stay calm and rational and balanced when your heart is breaking for your child is near impossible. In fact it IS impossible.
My younger son is copping it at school and my instant reaction is to want to strangle the kids involved and that's putting it nicely.

We are doing all we can to try and put a stop to this, we are working with the school, the teachers, the principal and with a child psychologist but most of this is to try and teach my son resilience and coping skills. We talk with him, we love him and we cuddle him but we feel so helpless. I'm so sick of my child having to be "taught" resilience, what about teaching bullies about kindness and compassion?

I know that resilience in life is important. I believe I am a very resilient person due to certain life experiences but my child is 9 years old and this bullying has been an ongoing situation and will continue to be unless it is stomped on. I believe rather than creating resilience my child's little spirit is being crushed. He told me yesterday that he feels like the whole world hates him apart from his family. My heart broke right then and there.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Rainy Days

It is a lovely, cold rainy day today and I am home. The heater is on and the house is warm and cosy and soon I will spend some time going over a few recipe books and picking out a couple of new meals I'd like to try and make. I'll head over to the shops, gather what I need and come home and put it away for later.

I want to spend some time with my son's today and we are off to the music shop this afternoon to check out the drums and guitars. I wonder if there is an ear plug section?

It makes me so happy that my kids are into music. Sure it's of the heavy metal and hard rock variety but I love that my house is generally alive with music.
Their Dad plays guitar also and in his younger years spent some time as the lead guitarist in a band. They played around the local traps and once played a gig in front of a couple of thousand people but never went any further than that before disbanding.
I love that the man in my life is never scared to try and from him I have learned many lessons about "having a go".
He is in the process of learning to play Cavatina which if you have never heard, is a beautiful piece of music that always brings a tear to my eye. It is also an exceptionally hard piece to play.
Being the determined character he is, each evening he picks up his guitar and goes over and over the piece perfecting as he goes. What a treat it is to listen to this every night.

He plays all sorts of music but this new classical phase he is in is just so nice. I can see that he physically relaxes as he plays. I think learning to play this piece is the ultimate in Zen practice for him and you cannot help but be totally there in the moment yourself when the one you love is playing something so beautiful.

I am trying to focus on all of the good and wonderful in my life and my partner and my boy's are certainly both, the fact that they fill our house with music too is just so awesome and I am so thankful.
Now, where are those ear plugs?